Belonging
By Daniel Chiappa-Patching, Head of Boarding
I love my school. As Head of Boarding at Sherborne Prep, it’s an easy thing for me to say – my school is also my home. My wife and children live here. I belong.
My aim has always been to foster this same feeling within the children. A sense of home. A sense of belonging. That’s not always easy – children, as we all know, are gloriously different (and, at times, notoriously difficult to please... apologies to those reading this under four foot tall!).
How do we create an environment that meets individual needs and allows every child to feel like they belong?
And why is that important?
Quite simply, a child who feels they belong is one who feels safe enough to learn, grow and explore. Belonging nurtures motivation. It builds confidence. It helps a child feel seen, valued and understood – not just for who they are now, but for who they want to become.
Maslow knew it back in 1943. His hierarchy of needs identified belonging as fundamental. Before a person can fulfil their potential, they must first feel loved, supported and secure.
It’s easy to say – but how do you know when a child belongs?
Take a walk through Sherborne Prep. Step into the Pre-Prep or junior classrooms. Come into the boarding house. You’ll find spaces that radiate warmth. Pupil work proudly displayed. Reading corners where children can curl up and feel safe. Drop-in prep sessions that ease anxiety and build independence. Art and music rooms that invite joyful exploration. Sports teams where everyone has a role. Friendships forged at break time. A pool table that’s never unoccupied. Saturday activities with something for everyone.
But belonging isn’t just about the space. It’s about people.
It’s about the moment a teacher takes time to listen. A pupil checking in on a friend. A boarding tutor noticing a wobble and offering reassurance. The knowledge that someone sees you and cares – especially when you’re struggling to see yourself.
True belonging happens when a child who feels out of place is gently helped to find where they fit.
Our job is to guide them from ‘Who am I?’ to ‘Who I am.’ That journey doesn’t happen overnight. Children try on identities like hats. They absorb influences, copy heroes, swap interests. It’s a beautiful, bewildering, shape-shifting process.
Our role – as teachers, mentors, grown-ups who care – is to hold the space steady. To provide love, security, and enough opportunities for discovery that, somewhere along the line, something sticks.
Because when a child finds that spark – when they stand a little taller, take a braver step, or feel quietly proud just being themselves – that’s when you know they’ve found it.
They belong.